Today’s thoughts are more …. thought-less.   Totally unspired.   For the past month, nothing to say.   Nothing cute going on, nothing really exciting, no epiphanies …. nada.

I’m still around, but I guess my brain and my emotions are just tired lately.  That’s probably the best way to describe me, emotionally tired.   Maybe I’ll find my pep again soon.

So I think I’ll go get my cross-stitch, and sit and watch the two Scooby Doo movies or something.

There are women, some just acquaintances really, that I’d like to talk to.    Be  my role model.    You don’t know I watch you, maybe.   I look at you and pick out the things I like the most, things I’d like to see in myself that aren’t there.      I admire you for keeping your weight down and in shape, that speaks of self-control and is a Fruit of the Spirit.  I admire you for your ministries, you seem so much in the middle of things, so used of God.  I admire you for your smiles, and I try to make sure I keep one on too, though I catch myself with my old frown, and have to consciously stretch my face back into a smile, I’m peachy-keen, just fine, how are you?    I admire you for your consistency, I feel as though I’m as far from consistence as you can get.   On fire one day, then suddenly realize it’s been several days since I prayed, feel condemned and terrible and go a few more days … I know I know, stupid is as stupid does there.

I won’t name you, but I watch you.   I know you’re not perfect, but I think you’re better than me, and I try to be a little more like you, in my own way.   I think some may read this and be surprised that I’m thinking directly of you …. I probably am.   I’m not the only one, and I’m watching you.   You’re my womanly inspiration, and I watch, listen, and learn.   And I’m thankful to have you even on the outskirts of my life, because we all need inspiration.

Tag, you’re it.

Love,

Valarie

Well, I’m back in the cake decorating business!   Sort of.   I’m making the groom’s cake for my niece’s wedding this summer, and will be practicing on everyone I know between now and then!  So if you’re a friend, lemme know if you need a free cake or cupcakes, I need to practice making and using fondant.

I’ve got the bomdidibomb font recipe, all the reply posts are raving about the consistency AND edibility, and have decided that’s what I’m going to spend my afternoon doing.  The humidity might do me in today, but that’s okay.   I just want to get my hands in and try it out on a home cake first.   Maybe make cupcakes or something with it, who knows.   Maybe just make it and eat it, LOL!!!!   This day’s work will make my oldest daughter very happy, and my youngest daughter jealous that I’m taking over the kitchen …

This time it’s not me.   I’m on the mend.  Still coughing painfully, and avoiding anything resembling laughing to avoid another coughing fit, but I’m on the mend.

This time it was my laptop.   Eaten alive by viruses!   I landed on a not-so family friendly website, and BAM!   Jason tried to clean it up, but was unable to, so he is now going to do a complete reformat of the machine.   Wipe it completely out and start over .  What a mess.

I could absolutely write a Sunday School lesson about demon possession after this latest adventure.  I understand the story about “Legion” a lot better, I have a good visual in my head.  Total demonic pop-ups, message balloons, crazy looking screens, you name it.  Scary stuff!

So, I’m totally without a laptop until he gets it reformated, then I have to start downloading alllll the program updates to XP and other programs, as that laptop is about three years old now. 

Moral of the whole story … keep your virus protection up to date .. but it was!   Was McAfee good enough?  No!  I needed a more thorough and updated virus/spyware/trojan protector … the whole Truth and nothing but will keep US demon-free, no watered down religions, no watered down beliefs, no watered down convictions or misrepresentation of God’s Word  .. no more McAfee or Norton!  There’s a bit of a parallel going on there.  You really have to dig to find the One True Virus Protector!

I yam wot I yam. Sometimes I have to wonder about that.  Does everyone have the same doubts about themselves that I do?  Note - THIS IS NOT A WHINE. This is me contemplating me.  Sometimes I’m kinda paranoid .. did I offend that person, why does it always seem like I’m the one making contact and her replying, but never initiating contact .. can I call that person a friend?  I’d like to.  The problem is, I don’t know where I stand.  And “that person” is actually several people. But I don’t want to be a one-side friend, that’s kinda empty feeling.

I try to be friendly, then I go blurt out something like my real opinion about something, and something in the faces looking at me always changes.  I’m on the outside again, and I feel it.  I always feel like I’m on the outside looking in, and if I get invited somewhere I feel fortunate, and honored.  Is that the way everyone feels?   Fortunate and honored?  On the outside looking in?  Are my personal opinions about things actually offensive?

What’s it really like to have a friend who you can call and actually TALK to … or to have a friend who actually calls YOU.   When I was a teen, I had friends like that.  Then I grew up, they grew up, and on the outside looking in, I see other couples, other women, who at this age seem to have friends like this that they keep in touch with, know more about them than what their blog shows, actually go out and do things with.

I want to be something more than an email address to get funny stuff forwarded to.

So, I’ll take a leaf from a much admired lady, Deborah, and take from Scripture, Ecc 4 -

⁹ Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

¹⁰ If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

¹² Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

I do have friends in need, as was proven during my family’s recent time of need.   So God has taken care of my needs.  He always has.  The desires of our heart He also provides.

For those fortunate enough to have a friend of the heart, guard that, protect it with everything you are, pray over it and keep it safe.  For a friend of the heart is a precious thing indeed.